Something wicked this way comes…
From Memoir to Vampires: What the Hell are you up to, Matt?
I know what you’re thinking: “Matt Blum, the guy who wrote Failing Upward—the gritty, self-deprecating memoir about screwing up gloriously—is now writing about vampires? What’s next? Space cowboys? A buddy cop drama starring sentient toasters?”
Yeah, I hear you. It’s a pivot, no doubt. But, hear me out. I’ve spent the better part of my life documenting the raw, messy, and beautifully chaotic shitshow we call real life. The humanity, the flaws, the heartbreak, the occasional triumph—it’s all been my playground. But sometimes…sometimes you just want to set fire to the playground. Sometimes you want to make shit up, to crank the dial to eleven and watch the sparks fly.
So, here we are. Vampires. But, let’s get something straight right now—this isn’t the sparkling, love-sick, mall-goth nonsense that’s been haunting the genre like a bad hangover. My vampires don’t glitter. They don’t cry to The Cure in dimly lit bedrooms. And, they sure as hell don’t lurk in high school classrooms trying to seduce teenagers. That’s not romance. That’s a felony.
No, these vampires are something else entirely. They’re raw, gritty, and maybe even a little feral. They’re the embodiment of that thing inside you that wakes up after three shots of tequila and a regrettable text. They’re predators, pure and simple—fueled by instinct, power, and just enough humanity to make them dangerous as hell.
But, don’t worry, it’s not all fangs and bloodshed. There’s humor, because what’s life—or undeath—without a little irony? There’s humanity, because even monsters wrestle with their reflection. And yeah, there’s even a bit of sex, because let’s be honest—if you’re writing about vampires and skipping over the dark, dirty allure, what’s even the point?
This isn’t just me playing in a new sandbox. This is me seeing what fiction tastes like. Writing memoir is an unrelenting gut-punch of honesty—stripping yourself bare in front of strangers, hoping they see the beauty in your scars. Fiction? Fiction is liberation. I can build a world, burn it down, and resurrect it before breakfast. It’s chaos, on my terms.
So yeah, I’m diving into the vampire genre, but don’t expect me to leave myself behind. I’m dragging all my baggage with me—the grit, the humor, the beautifully broken human condition. It’s not what you expected, and that’s exactly the point.
Expect the unexpected.
Question everything.
And for the love of God, don’t ask me if it’s like Twilight.
Things are about to get bloody interesting. Stay tuned.
One Love,
Matt Blum
